So, let’s set the scene: it’s Saturday morning, the sun is shining, and the birds are chirping. I’m sipping my coffee, dreaming of a lazy day, maybe catching up on that Netflix series I’ve been hearing about. And then, like clockwork, my husband strolls in, covered in dirt, with that proud grin on his face. “I did the yard work!” he announces, as if he just conquered Mount Everest. But here’s the kicker—he thinks that counts as equal housework. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.
Now, don’t get me wrong; I appreciate his efforts in the yard. The freshly mowed lawn looks great, and the flower beds are finally thriving. But when he claims that his time spent outside with a lawnmower or a rake is somehow on par with my endless list of household chores—well, let’s just say it’s a bit of a stretch. I mean, does watering the plants really stack up against doing the laundry, dishes, and picking up after our kids? I don’t think so!
What’s the Deal with Yard Work?
Yard work is often seen as this noble endeavor, and it certainly has its merits. It’s fresh air, it’s exercise, and hey, it can be therapeutic in its own right. But here’s the thing: it’s not the same as scrubbing the bathroom or vacuuming up the crumbs that magically appear after every meal. When I think about housework, I envision the tasks that keep our living space functional, clean, and—dare I say—peaceful. Yard work, while important, feels like a nice add-on, not a replacement.
Let’s also consider the timing. Typically, yard work happens on the weekend when we both have some free time. But my domestic duties? They never really take a break. Those dishes? They’re not going to wash themselves, and the laundry pile isn’t going to shrink just because it’s Saturday. It’s a continuous cycle, and I’m the hamster on the wheel, sprinting faster and faster. Meanwhile, my husband is outside, blissfully pruning bushes, and I’m inside, wondering if I need to start charging him rent for the space he’s occupying in my mental load.
Communication Is Key
So what’s a gal to do? First things first: communication. I’ve realized I need to be upfront about how I feel. If I keep pretending that yard work is the same as housework, I’m only building resentment. And no one wants to live in a house with unspoken grudges lurking in the corners like that dust bunny under the couch.
When I finally sat down with my husband and shared my thoughts, I was surprised by how receptive he was. I explained that while I truly appreciate his contributions, we need to figure out a more balanced approach to our household responsibilities. It’s not about assigning blame or keeping score; it’s about teamwork and understanding how we can support each other better.
Finding Balance Together
After our chat, we came up with a plan. Instead of seeing yard work as his “share” of housework, we’d each tackle our own tasks. I’d handle the inside—cleaning, organizing, and the like—while he’d continue with the yard, but we’d also find time to do things together. That way, yard work becomes a family affair, and I can put on my gardening gloves without feeling like I’m being forced into a chore I didn’t sign up for.
Plus, it’s kind of nice to bond over weeding and planting flowers. Who knew that getting our hands dirty could lead to such meaningful conversations? Sometimes, while pulling out stubborn weeds, we find ourselves laughing about the little things that happened during the week or dreaming up plans for our next family adventure. It transforms a chore into quality time.
Revisiting Expectations
It’s also worth mentioning that expectations can change over time. When we first moved in together, I did most of the cleaning and cooking while he took care of the yard. That worked for us then, but as our lives have evolved—hello, kids and busy schedules!—it became clear that things needed to shift. Checking in with each other about what’s working (and what’s not) is essential.
And let’s be real: it’s okay to have those awkward conversations. It’s part of being in a relationship.
More from Willow and Hearth:
Leave a Reply