Man Says His Partner Gave Her Mom Full Access to Their Home Security Cameras, So Now His MIL Gets Alerts Every Time He Comes or Goes

A man says he feels uncomfortable in his own home after discovering his mother-in-law has full access to the couple’s security cameras.

According to him, the setup means his partner’s mom receives notifications every time there’s movement outside their house — including when he leaves, returns, or steps into the garden.

Now he’s wondering if it’s unreasonable to want that access removed.

CCTV camera mounted on a building wall in an urban street setting, enhancing security. — Photo by Jakub Zerdzicki

How the Camera Access Works

The man explained that his partner shared their doorbell and garden cameras with her mother through the app connected to the system.

That means whenever the cameras detect motion, his mother-in-law receives an alert.

From there, she can open the app and watch the live camera feed if she chooses.

So every time he walks outside, comes home, or moves around the property, she technically has the ability to see it.

While his partner also has access to the cameras, that part doesn’t bother him.

What makes him uncomfortable is knowing someone outside the household could be watching at any moment.

His Partner Says It’s About Security

His partner insists the arrangement is purely for safety.

Her argument is that if someone suspicious approaches the house or tries to damage their cars, her mom could notice the alert and take action.

Because she lives about five to ten minutes away, she could potentially drive over or call the police if something looked wrong.

The man says he understands the logic behind it, but the constant monitoring still makes him uneasy.

A Double Standard That Made Things Worse

The situation became even more frustrating after a separate incident involving the same camera system.

At one point, he accidentally stayed logged into his partner’s account and started receiving notifications from the cameras at his mother-in-law’s house.

When that happened, he says he was immediately told it was strange and that he needed to log out right away.

To him, that reaction highlighted a clear double standard.

It’s exactly how he feels about his mother-in-law having access to their cameras — but when he raises the issue, his partner refuses to see his perspective.

Arguments Instead of Compromise

Whenever he brings up the privacy concern, he says the conversation turns into an argument.

His partner has accused him of being jealous and even compared their families, saying his own mother doesn’t care about them the way hers does.

He also feels he has less control over the system overall because the main account is tied to his partner’s email, leaving him with only a guest login.

Meanwhile, her mom continues to receive alerts whenever anything moves outside their home.

A Bigger Issue of Privacy

The couple also both work from home, meaning they’re often already present if something happens around the house.

And with an upcoming move that will place them 20–30 minutes away from his mother-in-law instead of just five, he says the “security” explanation feels even less convincing.

Now he’s questioning whether his discomfort is unreasonable — or whether it’s fair to expect privacy in his own home.

Why Many People Thought His Concern Was Valid

Many readers believed his reaction was completely justified.

User Apart-Ad-6518 summed it up simply:

“Double standards much?”

Others argued that giving a parent constant access to a couple’s home cameras crosses a major boundary.

User PurpleEmotional1401 wrote:

“I’m wondering why you still live with a partner who has no respect for your privacy.”

For many readers, the issue wasn’t the cameras themselves — but the idea that someone outside the household could watch them whenever they wanted.

Willow and Hearth