Ever find yourself feeling like you’re putting in all the effort while your partner, friend, or family member just seems to coast along? It can be a frustrating situation, and trust me, you’re not alone. We’ve all been there — when relationships start to feel one-sided, it’s often because certain habits have crept in and taken up residence. Let’s chat about four of those habits that can turn a healthy connection into a lopsided one.
1. Constantly Being the Planner
Okay, let’s talk about planning. If you’re the one always suggesting where to go, what to do, and when to meet, it can start to feel a little bit like you’re running a one-person show. Sure, some folks are more spontaneous, but if you find that your suggestions are met with a shrug or a vague “that sounds good,” it’s time to reconsider. Relationships should be a dance, not a solo performance.
So, what’s the fix? Try easing up on the planning reins. Let them take the lead for a change. It could be as simple as saying, “I’d love to see a movie this weekend. What do you want to watch?” If they still leave it all up to you, then it might be time for a more serious conversation about sharing the load.
2. Always Being the Listener
Many of us are natural listeners. We’re the friends who lend an ear whenever there’s a vent session, a crisis, or even just a mundane rant about the barista getting the coffee order wrong. But if you notice that you’re always in the listener role while the other person rarely returns the favor, it can feel pretty draining. Listening is great, but if it’s not reciprocal, you might end up feeling like a therapist rather than a friend.
It’s important to express your feelings. You might say something like, “I love hearing about your day, but I’d really appreciate it if you asked me how mine was too!” It’s a gentle nudge that encourages them to engage more actively, and who knows? You might just discover they’ve got some interesting stories to share, too.
3. Giving More than You Get
Giving is a beautiful thing. It’s what makes us human, right? But when giving becomes a one-way street, it can lead to some serious resentment. Whether it’s emotional support, time, or even little gifts, if you’re the one always giving and never receiving, it’s time to hit the brakes. Relationships are about balance; they thrive on mutual effort and appreciation.
Start by acknowledging what you give. It’s not about keeping score — that’s more of a game for accountants — but rather about recognizing the imbalance. You could try suggesting activities you both enjoy or even expressing your needs. Something like, “I’d love it if we could do something special together this weekend. I think we both deserve a little treat!” This way, you’re inviting them into a more balanced dynamic.
4. Over-Apologizing for Your Feelings
Here’s a common scenario: you express how you feel about something, and suddenly you find yourself saying “I’m sorry” more than you’d like. Apologizing for your feelings is a slippery slope. It sends the message that your emotions are somehow less valid than the other person’s, and that can lead to a serious disconnect.
Instead of apologizing, try acknowledging your feelings without the guilt attached. For example, instead of saying, “I’m sorry I feel hurt when you do that,” you might say, “I feel hurt when that happens, and I’d like to talk about it.” This way, you’re asserting your feelings without diminishing them, and it encourages open dialogue. After all, every relationship benefits from honest communication!
Finding Balance Together
Feeling like your relationship is one-sided doesn’t mean the end of the road. It’s often a sign that it’s time to have a heart-to-heart and maybe even shake things up a bit. Relationships are living, breathing entities that need attention and care from both sides to thrive. By shifting these habits, you can foster a more balanced, fulfilling connection that feels right for both of you.
So, the next time you’re feeling a little off-kilter in a relationship, take a moment to reflect on these habits. It might just open the door to a deeper understanding and a stronger bond. And who knows? You might find that your friend or partner was just waiting for a chance
More from Willow and Hearth:
Leave a Reply