Some office dramas are loud: slammed doors, tense meetings, icy emails copied to the entire zip code. This one is quieter, and that’s what makes it sneaky. It arrives as a calendar invite, a “quick” Slack message, or your name casually dropped into a committee roster you never agreed to join.
It’s usually wrapped in a compliment, too: “I put you down because you’d be perfect for this,” or the classic, “It’s great exposure.” And sure, exposure can be useful. But exposure doesn’t pay your bills, pick up your kids, or give you your evenings back.
The quiet creep of “voluntold” work
The scenario is familiar to a lot of workers right now: a coworker keeps adding you to extra groups, projects, and committees without asking first. Sometimes it’s framed as teamwork. Sometimes it’s pitched as a career boost, like you should be grateful for the chance to attend one more meeting that could’ve been an email.
But the impact is real. These committee hours aren’t always acknowledged in workload planning, and they often slide into lunch breaks, after-hours calls, or “just 30 minutes” that becomes 90. Even when the work is technically part of your job, the decision to commit your time shouldn’t be made by someone else like they’re borrowing a stapler.
Why “great exposure” hits a nerve
“Great exposure” is one of those phrases that can mean something totally legitimate—or absolutely nothing. If you’re getting high-visibility work with clear credit, leadership support, and time carved out of your existing duties, exposure can help. If you’re being handed extra tasks while your actual job still has to get done, it’s just a nicer way of saying, “We need more labor.”
The unpaid part is what makes people bristle. If the added committee work isn’t compensated with overtime, flex time, reduced duties elsewhere, or formal recognition that leads to advancement, it’s basically a donation. And most of us would like to choose when we’re donating our time.
How it happens (and why it keeps happening)
Sometimes the coworker is genuinely trying to help. They think they’re opening doors for you, or they assume you’d say yes anyway because you’re competent and dependable. You know, the classic curse: being good at your job means you get rewarded with more job.
Other times it’s less altruistic. Committees need warm bodies, and your coworker might be trying to look like a connector, a leader, or the person who “gets things done.” Volunteering someone else is an easy way to rack up influence without actually doing the work themselves, which is impressive in the same way it’s impressive when a cat opens a door and then expects you to handle the rest.
The hidden cost: time, attention, and reputation
The hours are the obvious part. The less obvious part is the mental switching cost: preparing, reading, responding, taking notes, remembering what got decided, and then actually doing the follow-up tasks. Committees multiply those costs because everyone’s on a different timeline and nobody wants to be the one who “didn’t see the email.”
There’s also a reputational risk. If you’re listed on committees you can’t realistically support, people may assume you’re disengaged or unreliable. It’s a weird trap: someone else volunteers you, then you get judged for not performing a promise you never made.
What a reasonable boundary sounds like
You don’t have to launch a dramatic campaign to reclaim your calendar. A simple, steady script can do a lot of work. Something like: “Hey, I noticed I was added to the committee. I’m not able to take on additional commitments right now, so please check with me before adding my name to anything going forward.”
If your coworker pushes the “exposure” angle, you can stay polite and practical. Try: “I appreciate you thinking of me, but I need to prioritize my current workload. If there’s an opportunity you think is especially valuable, I’m happy to discuss it first and confirm I have capacity.”
Turn it into a capacity conversation, not a personal one
The easiest way to keep this from turning into a weird vibe is to anchor it in workload. You’re not accusing them of being manipulative (even if you suspect they are). You’re stating a limit: your time is finite, and you’re responsible for managing it.
If you want to be extra clear, ask for specifics. “How many hours a week is this committee expected to take?” and “What deliverables am I responsible for?” are fair questions. The moment the work has to be named and estimated, it tends to stop floating around as a magical resume enhancer and start looking like, well, work.
When to loop in a manager (and how to do it smoothly)
If this keeps happening or it’s already affecting your performance, it’s reasonable to bring your manager into the loop. Not as a complaint-fest, but as a planning conversation: “I’ve been added to a few committees recently, and I’m concerned about capacity. Which of these are priorities for me, and what should I deprioritize to make room?”
This does two helpful things. It forces the organization to acknowledge that time is a resource. And it signals that you’re not refusing work—you’re asking for alignment, trade-offs, and a clear decision-maker, which is the grown-up version of “please stop signing me up for stuff.”
If the committees are truly important, make them official
Sometimes the committee work actually is strategic, and leadership genuinely wants you there. Great. In that case, it should be reflected in your goals, workload planning, and performance review criteria. “Exposure” should come with credit, and credit should come with time allocated to earn it.
You can frame it like this: “If this is a priority for the department, I’d love to include it in my objectives so it’s clear how it fits alongside my other responsibilities.” It’s a friendly way to say, “If you want my labor, let’s treat it like labor.”
The social piece: how to keep it from getting awkward
Office dynamics can be delicate, especially if your coworker is well-liked or close to leadership. The key is consistency. If you accept two committees you didn’t agree to and then push back on the third, you’ll look unpredictable, and they’ll keep trying their luck.
So aim for a calm, repeatable approach. “Please ask me first” is a complete sentence, and it gets easier the more you use it. If you want a little gentle humor, you can add: “My calendar is starting to make decisions without me, and I’d like to get back in the loop.”
What you’re allowed to want
You’re allowed to want a job where your workload is planned instead of piled. You’re allowed to want credit for what you do, and compensation or time back when the work expands. And you’re definitely allowed to want your coworker to stop treating your hours like communal property.
Exposure can be real, and committees can be meaningful. But they should be chosen, not assigned by surprise. If someone wants to offer you an opportunity, the respectful version starts with a question, not a calendar invite.
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