Picking a college roommate used to mean a questionnaire and a lot of crossed fingers. Today it often starts in a group chat months before move-in day. @abbyrantsalot found her first roommate that way, and she says it went perfectly. It was the third person in the room, assigned at random, who turned her freshman year at UCLA into what she calls the worst roommate experience ever.
She tells her story over a get-ready-with-me, and it is a good reminder of how much can change between the dream and the dorm.
@abbyrantsalot
How it all began
Her story starts in January of her senior year of high school. She had been accepted early at USC and was leaning toward committing there, and she had even been talking with some of the girls who would be going. In the end she chose UCLA instead.
Then she connected with another girl who was headed to UCLA. They had talked about attending USC together, and now they were both going to UCLA. The girl lived in a nearby town, and the two played the same sport and planned the same major. In her words, the girl seemed perfect, and she was thrilled.
The problem with triples
There was one catch. At UCLA, she says, freshmen are placed in triples, so the two friends needed to find a third. That turned out to be harder than expected. She describes talking with one girl for about a week, only to have her announce that her own roommate was also looking for a third, and the math simply did not work. Two plus two makes four, and she was not about to give up her first roommate.
In the end, they decided not to find a third person themselves and to accept a random assignment. She says she had heard of people who loved their random roommates, so she felt pretty good about the summer.
The email and the call
By September, she says, the school drew out the process of revealing who the random roommate would be. When the email finally arrived, it came from a Gmail address with a bubbly fan-club style name, which made her suspect it might not go well. Still, she tried to keep an open mind.
She asked for the girl’s Instagram, and the new roommate suggested a group chat and a call instead. When she looked up the account, she found no profile photo and no photos at all. They had the call anyway, and she says it went great. The girl seemed super chill and super nice, they went through everyone’s preferences, and they all agreed the system had matched them well.
Move-in and a rocky start
Move-in went smoothly at first. She did note that she and the first roommate brought everything for the room, including the fridge, the bathroom containers, the soap and the bath mat. The third roommate did not bring much. She decided that sharing is caring and let it go.
The first week was not bad. Then things changed in weeks two and three, when her original roommate had to move out for reasons she chose not to share. That left just the two of them, and she tried to look on the bright side, since they had more space.
The sleep schedule that did not match
Things were fine for a while, with one big annoyance. Everyone had said they kept the same sleep schedule, and she says someone was not being accurate. Her roommate would go to bed around three in the morning and sleep until about one in the afternoon, while she was up at seven and had to tiptoe around the room all morning.
The report to the resident advisor
The tension grew near the end of second quarter. She had someone over at about ten at night, and the next thing she knew, she had been reported to the resident advisor. She says she had texted her roommate apologizing in case she was being loud, and noted the roommate was usually not even in the room at that hour. She got no reply, only the report. That was the moment she says she realized how bad it had become.
Luckily, around the same time, she came off the waitlist for a single room and was able to move quickly.
Moving out
The final scene happened on the last day of spring break. She arrived to move out, assuming her roommate would not be there. She was there, in bed. When she mentioned she was moving out, she says the roommate pretended not to hear her and kept the covers over her head for about two hours while she took things off the walls and moved her mattress. To her, it was the whole story in a nutshell: no conversation at all, just silence and a report.
Lessons for roommates and parents
It is only one side of the story, but there are some useful takeaways for any student, or any parent helping one. First, talk early about the small stuff, such as sleep schedules, guests and noise, and write down what you agree on. Many colleges offer roommate agreement forms for exactly that purpose, and they can turn vague expectations into something you can point to later.
Second, speak directly if a problem comes up. A text or a quiet conversation can clear the air long before an official complaint is needed. Third, know your options. Your resident advisor and your housing office can mediate a dispute, and many schools allow room changes when a situation is not working, though waiting lists are common.
Finally, remember that a rough year is rarely the end of the story. She came out of it with a single room and a story she can laugh about, and her advice at the end is simple: maybe do not go random with your roommate.
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